I research genealogy. Give me census records, birth certificates, and passenger manifests and I’ll happily disappear for hours. But every now and then I find something different.
A card. A note. A letter.
Suddenly, history isn’t history anymore. It becomes a person.
My 3x great Aunt affectionately called Mima (Legally b Jemima Pride)
It never fails to trip my heart when I come across a letter. I reread like I have been starved for a century. And really, maybe we all have.
Hundreds of products are sold under the guise of “connection,” but research is proving over and over again that connection made through digital means is NOT what we end up feeling.
An algorithm can generate beautiful words thanks to centuries of human writing that it has mined, but it cannot replicate your handwriting (and it doesn’t matter how “bad” you think it is.) It cannot replicate the coffee ring from where mom set her cup on a just a regular day in her life. It won’t cross out a word or sentence that isn’t quite capturing the feeling - though it came close and we are lucky enough to know it. It won’t catch a tear that hit like the power of a comet that swept up all the sadness and drove it out and away. It won’t be able to represent all the folding and unfolding from being read a thousand times to see the words of a loved one who is no longer here.
The imperfections ARE the message.
Without imperfections… it is just a transaction. It is the difference between the teller line at the bank and an ATM.
I am a mom. I teach 17-18 year olds and I SEE this heartbreaking epidemic first hand EVERY day. The words we share with each other tend to be surface level. “How are you?” “Good to see you.” Loneliness isn’t happening because people aren’t talking.
It is happening because people don’t feel connected.
We need to add more, show more, share more and it has to be real. Interaction is NOT the same thing as connection.
Now I am not saying we swing the pendulum to the other extreme… No technology ever! But I do think we need to bring intention to what we surround ourselves with and our loved ones to bring a balance back to our lives. Like walking on the ground barefoot. We need to see the love others have for us. THAT is what a handwritten note does.
I used to keep my cards and letters in a box. In the wisdom that comes from age and experience, I have found ways to incorporate these things into my home and my life. Turns out Psychologists have studied what they termed, “transitional objects” and memory cues for decades. Physical items often become powerful reminders of relationships and significant life moments. THIS is why we save birthday and graduation cards, why we covet our love letters, why we know where the sympathy cards are. Nobody prints out a text message and keeps it in a box.
THIS is the gift we NEED to bestow on our children.
Digital Overload | Research has found that constant notifications fragment our attention and can leave us feeling more distracted than connected. Yet opening the mailbox, recognizing someone's handwriting, making a cup of coffee, and sitting down to read a letter asks something different of us.
It asks us to slow down.
And maybe that's exactly what connection has always required.
One day, someone may scroll through years of text messages.
But they'll hold your handwritten note.
They'll recognize your handwriting immediately.
They'll smile at the coffee stain.
They'll notice the word you crossed out because you found a better one.
They'll unfold it carefully...
just like I do when I find letters tucked inside the branches of someone else's family tree.
Connection leaves evidence.
That's why handwritten notes still matter.
Perhaps now...
more than ever.
Up Next | How to Write a Card Someone Will Never Throw Away
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